Let's get together.
yeah yeah yeah
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”
- Brené Brown
From the very beginning of this journey,
we've wanted to know:
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Can we find out how our friends are really doing?
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Can we provide the support they desperately need in any given situation?
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How can we be safe enough for them to share what’s going on?
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Can we shorten the typical two hours it takes to deeply connect?
The answer is yes. We can.
It's time to get REAL.
Each 90-minute meeting will walk your group of 4 through our REAL format. REAL stands for...
R
Rate. This is the easiest question. Give us a number 1 through 10, how are you doing?
A
Ask. Do you need some love? Unbiased feedback? Camaraderie? Ask your group.
E
Explain. We need context for your rating. What’s the story there? Good, bad, ugly.
L
Listen. Your three new buddies will do their best to give the kind of support you asked for.
Ah, we'll just show you.
We're hoping to film an actual meeting soon with some of our members, but right now here's a video of Andy and I walking through REAL together.
It's our #1 priority to make these meetings...
Safe
We work to make these meetings safe, without stifling emotional expression. We expect confidentiality, respect boundaries, and record meetings to be reviewed by our staff in the event that an issue presents itself.
Structured
Spilling your guts to three potential strangers sounds intimidating, we know. But the framework brings down that anxiety a bit because you know what to expect. It’s the same structure every time. It feels natural after one or two meetings.
Loving
This community is made up of empathetic people who genuinely want to see you happy. We really do kick people out if they can’t pass the vibe check. We know there’s a lot of trust involved here – please know we take it seriously.
(Pacific Standard Time)
Please plan to be present for the whole 90 minutes.
Camera on, ready to support.
Mark your calendars!
We're predicting you'll want to jump in a meeting at least once a month, but attendance is not required. Many of us prefer weekly meetings! We are still setting up meeting times as we grow, so if you have preferred time...let us know.
Want to win at meetings?
Fails
✘ Judging other cultures and beliefs
✘ Unwillingness to be vulnerable/receive
✘ Selling to, or propositioning members
✘ Telling others what they “should” do
✘ Making everything about you
First meeting coming up?
Here's some ways to emotionally prepare.
1
Reflect on what you’d like to get out of the meeting. Your time is your time – you can share as much or as little as you like. Ask for the feedback you feel comfortable receiving. Could be, “Have you guys ever felt like this?” Could be an objective point of view.
2
Don’t expect too much of yourself right away. Our groups can be very intense. If you don’t feel ready to put yourself out there in a big way, that’s ok. Plus, Andy will always recommend listening to (or reading) some Brenè Brown. Do with that what you will. 😆
3
Feel comfortable in your boundaries. The emotional safety of our members is our #1 priority. Please take care of yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or triggered, take some space. If a discussion takes a turn you’re not comfortable with, say that.
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What if I don’t feel comfortable sharing deep stuff?Listen, we get that. We honor boundaries. Only you can decide if you feel safe. Feel free to use your time to talk about your lunch that day, your latest haircut, a documentary you’re watching...whatever. We’re here for whatever would feel good to get off your chest.
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Can I join a meeting and just listen?In short, no. We definitely want everyone in the meeting to have equal vulnerability invested. However, if you’d like to watch the process, we do a weekly Instagram live where we’ll run through a REAL with a guest. That will give you a really great reference for what meetings are like.
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Can my friends sit in?You're welcome to invite friends to our open "taste test" meetings! We'd love to meet them. We do not allow guests in our private member meetings, so we can make sure they're as safe as possible.
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Can I only come for part of the meeting/be late?We ask everyone to be on the meeting, camera on, for the whole 90 minutes. Our format allows each person to give support, and receive support. If you miss any part of it, the format won't work it's magic. If you don't happen to be able to make it on time, that's ok! There are three meetings a week – catch the next one!
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Why does my screen need to be on?In our meetings, most people get really real and vulnerable. It's really hard to do that looking at a bunch of black squares. Zoom meetings are hard enough. Most humans communicate emotions through the face and eyes (unless they're neurodivergent). It's biology. Connection happens face-to-face.
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Can I work on other stuff during a meeting?Hey, if you can find something that still allows you to give your full attention to your group, is quiet, and doesn't distract from other's time, you're free to do that. We welcome tools that help you stay present & engaged (fidget spinners, knitting, etc).
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Can my kids/spouse be in the room for the meeting?We would ask that you are the only one who can hear your group. Maybe put in earbuds so everyone still feels safe to share. Having other people in the room (even with earbuds in) should be a last resort. There will definitely be cussing and adult topics discussed, so we doubt you would want kids listening in anyway.